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Your Naruto Fanfic Pet Peeves...

Discussion in 'Naruto Fanworks' started by TekJounin, Jan 21, 2005.

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  1. KyuubiNoKitsune 死のくちづけ

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    Sakura bashing. Just because I like SasuNaru doesn't mean I hate sakura. Sakura bashing get annoying after a while
     
  2. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    I know, that's why I said '22 chapters'. SMH.

    He's tried all the best to integrate story and smut, but everything went wrong the moment bijuus were jumping into new human bodies. Besides, the whole 'plot' revolves around the fact that a lot of the women Naruto gets with are simply brainwashed. Not exactly sound footing from an ethical standpoint.

    But as a whole, yes, serious fics with more than one woman aren't really viable anymore.
     
  3. BellatrixLestrange Member

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    Character bashing is annoying. Just because I don't like a character doesn't mean I want to see them bashed. On the contrary, I want to see them depicted in a realistic manner.
     
  4. Baby Joe Just as planned.

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    :giogio :giogio :giogio What the hell is this?
     
  5. SaishuSoda Sir

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    I actually read the entire thing out of curosity...

    Not a good move on my part.

    It got weird really fast. I'd say around the time they shop for flexible diapers and baby powder so the adults wearing them don't get rashes.

    To each their own I guess.
     
  6. The Jeffrey That guy...

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    ^
    Wow, can't believe you actually read that.

    What the hell is this? :giogio

    I'm not going to read it since I'm all out of any alcoholic beverages... and I'm also sure that it will make me want to shoot myself.
     
  7. Nymph Goddess A Goddess reclaiming Thyself

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    My Pet Peeves most of these have probably been said but here is my .02cents

    -Multiple spelling mistakes - It only takes a minute to use the goddamn spellchecker really. Also constantly misspelling character names and locations wrong. Especially when someone writes a character's name five different ways. (I shit you not, I come across fics where a person kept spelling Tsunade: Tsuede, Tsunede, and Tsuneda...yea not once was it spelled right. When in doubt, use GOOGLE it may save your life!

    -Multiple mismatched wording, like having 'Lets' instead of 'That's', They instead of There or Their, Drew instead of Draw or Threw or Through or Thought or Thorough or Throw. Also constantly spelling women when it should be woman and vice versa, the same applies for getting he and she mixed up. Also reading a sentence that IS missing a word.

    -Proper Capitalization, it shouldn't kill someone to reach over their keyboard with their freaking pinky finger to hold the SHIFT key to capitalize a LETTER. :notrust

    No use of quotation marks...I just...argh! I can't distinguish between a character speaking and not speaking without either '' or ""

    Unable to tell if a character is speaking or thinking, without the use of '', "", or Italics.

    Constant switching between Narratives :arg : An author is either going to do 1st person point of view or 3rd person point of view, nevermind the 2nd narrative.

    This is an example: I was walking down the street, with her head raised to sky because I suddenly felt droplets of rain fall to her face. She was startled by the feeling and then I wished I brought my umbrella with me that day. *cringes from just writing that*

    Rushed story telling, where all you get is

    Character a "speaking"

    Character b "speaking"

    And a little sentence or two that's suppose to describe everything going on in one chapter...okay 3_3

    Constant repetition of the same word, sentence, or oddly worded metaphors and similes that don't make sense and make whatever is being described come out sounding just WTF.

    Look I ain't looking for no overly drawn out fic with too many details that's just as bad, but people can take their time to actually put in more effort in giving good descriptions of the world and the characters.

    Harem stories that:

    MUST have all the girls that are listed to be in the harem only having eyes for the one guy, completely disregarding the other male cast, if there are other males in the cast of the particular series.

    If male characters are mentioned, they tend to end up being assholes for some unexplained or wholly OOC half assed reason for the girls to hook up and fall in love (usually very quickly and without any real reasoning)with the intended guy in the story just to get to the lemon. Because most badly done harem fics go this route.

    Also making the unrealistic assumption that the six or god forbid twenty something women in this harem are all a-OKAY with sharing the one guy who is just as unrealistically unable to deal with the REAL stress of providing and caring for these women. I'm not even going to go into the fact that characters are not even given enough development for most of the harem stories to even work out.

    OOCness to the third degree! Unless it's meant to be for a purpose. Or for mock fics.

    OC's that overtake the goddamn plot!

    Badly done OC/X-character pairings.

    Horribly done self-inserts

    Stories in which the characters quickly fall in love

    Extreme character bashing

    fics that mislead you into thinking you are going to read about a certain pairing only for it to end up being about another one...and most likely one you hate

    Getting reviews, while appreciated is quite WTFish when someone gets a review from a person, who, having read an obvious story about a pairing that they don't like and MUST tell the writer they don't then follow it up with: it's a good story...I really can care whether you don't support the pairing or not or your life story if you're the type that feel they must let me know about it. Look if the story is good say so, if you can't enjoy it because it's X/X pairing just don't bother to review at all. *eye rolls*

    Also reviewers who think they MUST tell you what pairing to write about or what NOT to write about. GTFO plz.

    Reviews that just outright flame you and not the story.
     
  8. mstee The Anti-Hero's Comeback.

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    I hate it when people do the stereotypes for the character and not even bother to put a little twist to it. Also, I hate 2nd person narratives unless they're really, really good.
     
  9. SaishuSoda Sir

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    Believe me, that urge is guaranteed.

    By far some of the most awkard and bizarre shit I have ever read in any fanfiction. There was nothing that could prepare me for a disturbingly detailed description of 14 year old Hinata casually getting her 'diaper' changed by Kurenai to give her experience at being a mother. Nor could anything prepare me for the OCs' organization that might as well been led by Pedo Bear himself.

    Needless to say, I needed alot of mindsoap afterwards.

    Again, to each their own.
     
  10. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    Shikamaru: Troublesome..

    Sasuke: Hn

    Naruto: BELIVE IT RAMEN

    Hinata:....wh-wha-what-t-the-f-fuck ho?

    Sakura:OMGNARUTOYOUSUCKASSLOLSHANNARO..SASUUKE-KUUN

    Tell me about it :giogio
     
  11. Baby Joe Just as planned.

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    :giogio

    At the end of this story, the author SWEARS that her main character isn't a Mary Sue.
     
  12. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    I know this is bleach...but :D:

    'Ichigo feels a sharp pain in his chest. Rukia offers to find the problem. Turns out its a girl. A girl from America. She posseses every power Ichigo has including his hollow. How and why does she have his powers? Please, iam so sorry full summary inside!'

    It's an IchiRuki, but her OC is Ichigos soulmate, who is also from America, the same country the author lives in. And shes stronger than Ichigo

    I guess it isn't a self-insert though
     
  13. SaishuSoda Sir

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    Perfect example of my hate.
    Spoiler:

    Honestly I'm sure IC Raikage or any of the kages for that matter, would have bitch-slapped that Mary Sue Oc around her second sentence.
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2012
  14. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    Read the reviews, i said that :gar
     
  15. SaishuSoda Sir

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    Found it. :brofist
     
  16. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    I would laugh hysterically if my review actually happened.

    Kokukage or whatever: Madara-chan, put them under my mary-sue genjutsu

    Madara: ....what? No.

    *Raikage v2 speed bitchslaps her to the door*

    *Onoki points towards ame* "Get the fuck out"

    Me: :noworries

    EDIT: She deleted it :yay

    My one review broke her will and made her delete it, i should get a medal or something
     
  17. SaishuSoda Sir

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    I approve of this development. :kaga

    Mary Sue elimination confirmed.

    X
     
  18. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    'Kit'

    Seriously what the fuck?
     
  19. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    Tsundere Kyuubi motherly love obviously :wtf

    And now:
    For the love of God, do not break the fourth wall mid-paragraph for no fucking reason, especially when it's a fic someone is supposed to take seriously. For satirical and humour fics, I can understand it, but this is appalling.

    Don't even get me started on the grammar :giogio
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2012
  20. Spock &#32

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    ^ I fucking second that.
     
  21. Kakashifan727 Proud Kakashi fan.

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    WTF did I just read? FUUU~ this thread has me in shits and giggles. My early fics don't seem soo bad now.
     
  22. The Jeffrey That guy...

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    If you think that's bad then X :LOS

    Read one story and I guarantee that you will feel, hear, smell and taste your brain throwing up.
     
  23. South of Hell Undeniably Awesome

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    Bashing, blatant yaoi, non-asshole kyuubii, replay of the kyuubii attack if the outcome is practically the same, non-justified ooc, Naru-Hina (The archived are over saturated with this shit).
     
  24. SaishuSoda Sir

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    Went to go read some Akatsuki centric fanfiction and found a new pet peeve.

    The common portayal of Akatsuki in fanfiction. Also sickeningly obvious self-inserts that become part of the Akatsuki for no reason at all.

    X

    X

    X

    Honestly, WTF is this shit? :sanji
     
  25. Baby Joe Just as planned.

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    This is starting to become canon.


    First one's a self-insert and the second one is another one of those cat stories. :giogio I guess that self-inserts will always exist, but can people STOP with the cat stories? Why don't they ever turn into dogs or wolves-oh wait! That's DeviantArt's schtick. :giogio

    That last one's summary sounded like a parody or something. But, I don't like all that drug use, child abuse, and rape stuff. I guess I can add that as another one of my peeves.
     
  26. Blazing CobaltX Yuri Trainer on Fire

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    Haven't read Naruto fanfiction in a while, but I remember some stuff I highly disliked:
    - Good Sauce
    - Sakura bashing
    - OC self-insert
    - Real world AU
    - Tsundere Kyuubi
    - OOC
    - NaruJesus and random power-ups

    That's all I can think of right now... :hmm
     
  27. South of Hell Undeniably Awesome

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    It's why I prefer fanfiction. Because the premise of 100 meter tall fox capable of unprecedented power who actually likes causing destruction submitting to a teenager is ludacris. I much prefer the fics where Kyuubii only cares about freedom and is willing to fuck over everyone to get it; creates Drama and the Inner Antagonist situation.
     
  28. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    Anything by the author X.

    Fucking marathon single-sentence-paragraphs-with-no-commas-or-punctuation-other-than-periods EVERY-FUCKING-WHERE! Seriously, he'll write a 60-word long paragraph and have NO COMMAS AT ALL. It's just a ridiculously long sentence!

    And it's no surprise that SkyMaiden says she likes them, her stuff is just as bloody dull and eye wrenching, except she adds a line break after almost every. Single. SENTENCE.
     
  29. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    I cant stand wilkins75 or KyuubiGoku

    Don't know what the hell to think about pokemaster12
     
  30. Baby Joe Just as planned.

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    X

    X

    :maybe

    I can already tell that I won't like these stories.
     
  31. Vermin ▄█▀ █ █▀█ █▀ █▄█ █▄

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    Here we go as if I didn't hate on some stories already :ippy:

    Crack Fics: Why do people do this? I mean what the hell is the point of writing a story where Sasuke is turned into a cat? Does this need any further analysis? All I can say is these fics are ridiculous and downright annoying to scroll through. I can understand that some people may write them to be funny or something, but when they write it in a serious tone and I see that it has more reviews than my own story which I actually tried to put effort into writing...I just don't know what to say. These stories are a complete waste of time and space in my opinion.

    Excessive Character Bashing: I am fairly guilty when it comes to this rant, but It is worth mentioning. A lot of fics will completely bash Team 7 or the village council...Now I'm not going to give anybody shit for doing this because I've done it myself on multiple occasions and most of the stories I read have character bashing in them. The main thing I wanted to mention here is don't bash things without a good reason. I don't want to be a hypocrite or anything, but bashing doesn't work well unless it has a valid reason.

    Truth or Dare Fics: For the love of all things holy I am sick of looking through the new stories and updates, only to find a bunch of stories about the kunoichi having a sleepover that the boys decide to crash, or the Naruto gang playing a game of truth or dare. And people wonder why I have so much against fangirls. If you are going to write a story, try to think up something with a plot and action, romance, or both, not a crappy sleepover story. To add to this...what is the point of even writing one of these? I mean you have got to be insanely bored for something like this to even cross your mind.

    The Drunk Hater/Village Mobs: This is the stereotypical image of the drunk guy who calls Naruto a demon brat in most stories and nearly beats him to death. These are okay in some stories, but it is WAY TOO OVERDONE! I mean it is simply ridiculous if you think about it...a lot of these stories will have mobs of people stab, beat, and mutilate little six year old Naruto...For the love of god!!! What's even worse is when Naruto is rescued by some mysterious Super OC...which brings me to my next rant.

    Super OC: Nobody knows who the fuck this guy is...but he's apparently friends with everybody from Akatsuki, the third Hokage, and some other important people. The Super OC is the character that normally tends to rescue Naruto and train him from a young age to become strong...often from the Drunk Hater/Village Mob. He is the most powerful character in the entire story and has the strength to battle five kages and all of Akatsuki simultaneously...I don't mind having a powerful OC character in a story, but when he's more powerful than anybody in the entire Naruto universe, then what the hell would be the point of him training Naruto??! Super OC also seems to know everything about every villain in the story too but he doesn't do shit about it...now if Super OC is a bad guy then I can understand, but in most cases he is just a veiled self-inserted image the author wishes he could be. My favorite part is when Super OC is gets his own Harem...WTF!?! This is the ultimate form of a guy's vicarious fantasy. Super OC is also another cliche plot element that is completely over used...and to be quite honest I am tired of seeing.

    Somebody besides Naruto has Kyuubi sealed within them: Go fuck yourself sideways up the ass for this one...I mean that completely destroys Naruto's character. When I see Kyuubi put into somebody like Sasuke or an OC I just want to shoot the author with my 357 revolver...I mean what the fuck are you thinking?!?! First of all, I see absolutely no reason why Sasuke would need Kyuubi seeing as how he's pretty much powerful enough with his brother's eyes...I mean that is just ridiculous. I ask myself why anybody would consider this but then it hits me...I know why because some little teenage fangirl thinks Sasuke is cute. And here we go again with the OC getting Kyuubi...this is another form of Self-insertion so some fangirl/fanboy can vicariously live out their fantasies by being the main character in their Naruto Fanfic. *SIGH* I don't have anything else to say about this...

    Self Insertion Fics: Does this even need an explanation?! They all suck and I hate them. Nobody wants to read about how you get sucked into the Naruto universe and magically become pretty and powerful...Let's see what Sigfried has to say about it...

    To fangirls who have written a self insertion…this one is brutal, you might want to avoid it. You've been warned. Anyway, to put it simply, self insertion fics are a load of crap.(and damn it, the name just sounds dirty.) And once again, my blame falls on the fangirls. To try to put this with as much tact as I can manage, The fangirls who write self insertion fics…..well, they are unpopular and most likely not very attractive. In real life, life sucks for them, they want to be pretty and popular, but they're not. It may even go so far as to them being ridiculed by others. So what do they do about it…they decide that writing a self insertion fic will make them feel better. They write a story where they get sucked into the world of their favorite fiction (in this case Naruto) where they are the most beautiful girl that anyone has ever seen and they are incredibly powerful that no one can stand before their might, and all the boys like her, but she chooses whichever is her favorite and writes about how he instantly loves her and her strength and they are both happy together.

    Could there possibly be anything worse than this crap you might ask? Why yes there is. When the fangirl gets with a group of her friends in the same boat and write a "3 girls get sucked into the Naruto universe" fic. You take all that was bad about the single fangirl self insertion, and you triple it. So let this message be known here and now: Writing a self insertion fic is not going to make your life any better, go out and do something about it instead of writing a load of crap that nobody wants to read, you are wasting both your time and the time of everyone searching through the load of your crappy self insertion fics to find a story that is actually good.

    And with that brutally said, it is time to write the majority of self insertion fics. Once there was a girl named (insert name here). She lived an unhappy life in the real world. She was homely and unpopular. She so wanted to be pretty and popular. She only had two friends, and these friends were just like her. One day, the three of them went to her house and while they were watching Naruto, they were magically sucked into the T.V. and transported into the world of Naruto.

    "Hey, where are we?"

    "I think that we are in the world of Naruto."

    "Wow, we have suddenly gotten really strong. Look, I already know how to use just about every jutsu."

    "Hey your right, we already know all of the jutsu."

    "…OMG, LOOK GUYS, WE'RE PRETTY NOW!"

    "Your right."

    Suddenly, (insert the favorite boys of the authoresses) appears in the clearing in which they have landed.

    "Wow, that girl sure is beautiful and strong."

    "So is that one."

    "I think that we are all suddenly in love with these strange girls who have just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They can't be spies or anything, so lets take them back to become Konoha ninjas."

    Girls : "Hooray!"

    And so the girls followed their favorite male ninjas back to Konoha. In the following week, they would kill Orochimaru and all of the Akatsuki members with their incredible innate power upon arriving in the Naruto world, because obviously when they were pulled through their T.V., they gain power that all of the real ninja spend their whole life perfecting, but that doesn't matter now does it. Anyway, the ninja that found them profess their newfound love to these complete strangers and the girls say that they love them in return. The girls are much happier in this load of crap fantasy than the real world, so they never search for a way back, they just live out their days as the "beautiful goddesses of the Naruto world."

    The End.
     
  32. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    X

    It's basically about Naruto who travels the world and shit. He was saved by Mikoto Uchiha one day from a 'beating' and since then is like a son. He comes home to find Mikoto (As well as the Uchiha clan) dead. He's balmed for the murder and Sasuke vows to kill him, so he has to leave. He's a mercenary whos worked for people like Gatou. He's returns under a false name and bangs his sister, hates his father and hates Konoha (sort of)

    It has lack of morals and is quite disturbing...

    yet highly amusing....
     
  33. Blazing CobaltX Yuri Trainer on Fire

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    Wilkins75.

    At first I liked his/her story The Black Fox, but he/she started overusing the concept way too much, it became annoying and it wasn't even good in The Black Fox. :geg
     
  34. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    Let's not forget;

    "Kyuubi isn't a demon, but a summoning person who has a GF and now for some reason the toads totally ditched me. So i summon demon foxes now and Sakura somehow hates Sasuke and loves me and I am the demon sage even though the toads only have sage mode. Lee bashing Hinata bashing chouji bashing, sasuke bashing danzo bashing and maybe ino bashing"

    Every....story

    I facepalmed at Shikamaru and Temari learning wolf and weasel sage mode :facepalm And Chouji and Ino becoming Jiraiya and Tsunades apprentices :lmao
     
  35. TekJounin Crackhead Jounin

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    Let's not forget purple prose. Ever read something that left you feeling like your brain ate crackers and can't whistle anymore?

    Spoiler: Example

    In the rapturous misty dawn, a figure both lithe and fleet stepped delicately into the verdant and shadowed forest. The magnificent trees engulfed her and reached gnarled fingers into the vault of heavens' pearly luminescence. The nascent dawn cast it's rays down and enveloped the sylph in the sepulchral shadows of the forest titans. Glistening dew became rare jewels at the feet of the young beauty.


    I wrote that and am disappointed that I couldn't find it in myself to overload it sufficiently. I've read stories that had so many overblown descriptors that I entirely lost track of what the story was about. And I had to spent rather a lot of time looking up words just to know what the hell was supposed to be going on.
     
  36. Haruno Sakura Uchiha Sasuke's Wife

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    When characters just spout catchphrases over and over. Especially when said catchphrases are insistently written in fangirl Japanese...
     
  37. taydev Active Member

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    FF stuff I hate:

    -Self insertion. WTF! This is probably the worst for me. When reading it, it just sounds stupid. :notrust

    -Out of character characters. I mean, when you do this you've basically created your own character with the names borrowed from the original source. I understand that we're not sure how the characters would act in some situations FF writters create because we may have not seen them in these situations during the manga/anime or whatever show; but when they're WAY OOC, it's just wrong. There is still enough character display from the original source to keep them in line without going totally OOC. The only time I tolerate OOC'ness is for comedic purposes (which is seldom).

    -High school drama FanFic's. Maybe it's because I'm not in high school anymore, but whatever -_-

    -AU's. Especially if it's the very world we live in. I read fiction to get away from the stresses of everyday life. Duh.

    -Bad grammar. 'Nuff said -_-

    -Original/Outside Characters. When I read it I'm just thinking, "who da fuck is dis?"
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2012
  38. Spock &#32

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    I love historical AUs. :LOS Not much of them around though...


    I avoid all fics which features original characters and addresses them with names potentially hinting they'll have a role in the fic. Yuck.
     
  39. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    Translation:
    Some thin chick walked into a foggy and sunny forest while the grass beneath her feet was wet.

    And before I continue:
    So you went to all the trouble of writing all that complexity, and yet you forgot that an apostrophe was not necessary here :lmao. Just kidding, we all make that mistake.

    :giogio

    I mean, I like to make my sentences nice and descriptive, but I definitely don't go overload on the metaphors. Hell, even what I think of as 'simplistic' in my writing style often gets less-than-positive responses from readers. Seriously, I think a lot of people no longer have a brain.
     
  40. taydev Active Member

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    For those who say one of their peeves is when an author doesn't update, well maybe something terrible happened to them. Like hospitalization or death. I used to think this way too until I really thought about it LOL. Just sayin'.

    Oh and more peeves:

    -Most crossovers are lame.

    -I cringe at incest of any kind. (Uchihacest & Hyugacest)

    -Rape fics

    -Sexual situations when the characters are under the age of 16

    -I enjoy yaoi only if it's canon in the source and with a good plot. Not just buttsex. Therefore, I hate yaoi/yuri when the characters are obviously HET.

    -Poorly written lemons
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2012
  41. TekJounin Crackhead Jounin

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    That's always a possibility and I do allow for it. Some authors are thoughtful enough to update when catastrophic moments keep them from being active.

    I think the idea was more for the authors who habitually don't update and leave readers hanging, then come back months later with "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I was backpacking on the steppes and met a real Mongol, lol, and it was so crazy cuz then I went to Peru and rode a llama, so sors again and I will try to find out where I left off or if I even feel like finishing this. I just such a different person, now that I'm an honorary member of the Lake Titicaca Ladies Club and Bowling Team. If I get time before I head out to scuba dive the Marianas Trench, that is."
     
  42. taydev Active Member

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    Oh ok :laugh
     
  43. Kakashifan727 Proud Kakashi fan.

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    I haven't updated since Janurary, but I don't feel bad...I'm working on it anyways, it's just going slow thanks to school, what can I do?

    Which is kinda why I hate ppl who bitch about authors not updating quicker; grades are more important than something you do as a hobby, just saying. It's not like writing fanfic will get you a good job as a writer most likely because you do suck and people who rev are teens with no sense of actual taste. That's my two cents anyways...

    Just wrote him a scathing yet hopefully helpful review. You just need to be harsh with people like this, maybe this one will turn around.
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2012
  44. Dejablue Active Member

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    When OC's are used...what are some of the most over used or over popular names?
     
  45. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    I have a very specific peeve surrounding Mei Terumi characterisation.

    I've seen her portrayed as such (not all in the same fic, mind you):

    Childish
    Quick to act on impulse with little forethought
    Giddish and nervous

    She is none of these things. She's in her 30's (I think), she's not a schoolgirl, and she acts with a (general) maturity that any Kage would. Of course, she has her moments of threatening Ao, which is akin to A's temper and Tsunade's drinking, but that's because he sets her up for it.

    Also, and this is what annoys me the most, is that a lot of writers now place the 'shut up or I'll kill you' phrase whenever Ao so much as talks. It give off the wrong idea about her character, and makes the reader think Mei hates him just for the sake of it, which is far from the case.

    On another note:

    X

    To summarise it for those who don't want to read it (and I seriously advise you do not for the sake of your own sanity):

    Start of fic: The characters to be paired aren't aware of the other's existence.

    Middle of fic (which appears to be barely an hour after the start): "I suddenly feel attracted to this person and jealous of any member of the opposite sex who interacts with them."

    End of fic (five months after the middle, since the author has no intelligence with which to develop a realistic relationship): SEX.

    All of that takes place in a single 2000-word chapter.

    I actually want to reach through my laptop monitor and strangle the cesspit-borne figure who wrote (read: shat) this.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2012
  46. SaishuSoda Sir

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    That's not a 'story', that's an abomination.

    To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;

    Samui: So you're my future husband?

    Naruto: Yup.

    Samui: That's cool, and for some reason I totally wanna fuck you right now.

    Naruto: Yup, me too. Come back to my place?

    Samui: Kay' as long as you promise to stay faithful.

    Naruto: Believe it!

    --------5 month time-skip-------------

    *BADLY WRITTEN LEMON*

    THE END.
     
  47. Tomcat171 The NaruIno Fapping

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    Inorite? I have since left a harsh review.
     
  48. Kakashifan727 Proud Kakashi fan.

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    LOOL some dipshit tried to attack my review. Idiot obviously doesn't now what the fuck they are talking about. AHhahahahahaaa! What retards...

    That guy Whirlpool posted about sent me a PM. It's so fucking funny. OMG! His attempt at making fun of me is just.:facepalm :facepalm

    Spoiler:
    A response to your review at X

    Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
    Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
    P.S. Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.
    P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!

    Cheers!

    Darthemius.
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2012
  49. Whirlpool Triumvir

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    wow...

    what a douche

    I mean, i enjoy a pimp Naruto as much as the next guy, but this guy overdoes it and is arrogant about it :facepalm
     
  50. Kakashifan727 Proud Kakashi fan.

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    I know and he also hates gay people. What did they ever do to him? :wth Let me tell you, my reply was just as harsh...It has much crude language, you have been warned.

    Spoiler:
    How old are you again? Because you have the maturity of a fetus. Second of all I'm a woman and straight thanks so much, dipshit. Whatever, if you don't want to take my advice I'm done with you, you cunt sucking leech. And let me guess; all you 'friends' are the anonymous reviewers who are actually you in disguise? Number of reviews doesn't mean jack shit. First of all, if your reviewers don't have the balls to come out and say how shitty your fic is in the first place. Your English is horrible, I seriously had to read over your sad attempt at insults five times before I could get a gist of any of what you said. Nice attempt at trolling, but you REALLY need to do better than that if you think you hurt me at all. And thirdly, I don't own any porno materials, unlike you who probably masturbates to loli children while writing this semen in your mother's basement. Have luck with your garbage and if you think you can do batter job than Kishimoto who is on deadline,s has a family with kids that he must support and works for seven days a week making little for a famous mangaka, then show me. Else, you accusations are nothing more than thin air. You should try to be more open minded to other opinions, more so when we know more than you. Let's just say I"m not the only one who thinks your story is a pile of shit, dearie, and am telling you to give up before you commit suicide after you get more review that DOESN'T inflate your tiny dick.


    Seriously, it is too fun dealing with these spitwads. OMG, I can't breathe...
     
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