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Old 02-18-2012, 07:34 PM   #681
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Here we go as if I didn't hate on some stories already :

Crack Fics: Why do people do this? I mean what the hell is the point of writing a story where Sasuke is turned into a cat? Does this need any further analysis? All I can say is these fics are ridiculous and downright annoying to scroll through. I can understand that some people may write them to be funny or something, but when they write it in a serious tone and I see that it has more reviews than my own story which I actually tried to put effort into writing...I just don't know what to say. These stories are a complete waste of time and space in my opinion.

Excessive Character Bashing: I am fairly guilty when it comes to this rant, but It is worth mentioning. A lot of fics will completely bash Team 7 or the village council...Now I'm not going to give anybody shit for doing this because I've done it myself on multiple occasions and most of the stories I read have character bashing in them. The main thing I wanted to mention here is don't bash things without a good reason. I don't want to be a hypocrite or anything, but bashing doesn't work well unless it has a valid reason.

Truth or Dare Fics: For the love of all things holy I am sick of looking through the new stories and updates, only to find a bunch of stories about the kunoichi having a sleepover that the boys decide to crash, or the Naruto gang playing a game of truth or dare. And people wonder why I have so much against fangirls. If you are going to write a story, try to think up something with a plot and action, romance, or both, not a crappy sleepover story. To add to this...what is the point of even writing one of these? I mean you have got to be insanely bored for something like this to even cross your mind.

The Drunk Hater/Village Mobs: This is the stereotypical image of the drunk guy who calls Naruto a demon brat in most stories and nearly beats him to death. These are okay in some stories, but it is WAY TOO OVERDONE! I mean it is simply ridiculous if you think about it...a lot of these stories will have mobs of people stab, beat, and mutilate little six year old Naruto...For the love of god!!! What's even worse is when Naruto is rescued by some mysterious Super OC...which brings me to my next rant.

Super OC: Nobody knows who the fuck this guy is...but he's apparently friends with everybody from Akatsuki, the third Hokage, and some other important people. The Super OC is the character that normally tends to rescue Naruto and train him from a young age to become strong...often from the Drunk Hater/Village Mob. He is the most powerful character in the entire story and has the strength to battle five kages and all of Akatsuki simultaneously...I don't mind having a powerful OC character in a story, but when he's more powerful than anybody in the entire Naruto universe, then what the hell would be the point of him training Naruto??! Super OC also seems to know everything about every villain in the story too but he doesn't do shit about it...now if Super OC is a bad guy then I can understand, but in most cases he is just a veiled self-inserted image the author wishes he could be. My favorite part is when Super OC is gets his own Harem...WTF!?! This is the ultimate form of a guy's vicarious fantasy. Super OC is also another cliche plot element that is completely over used...and to be quite honest I am tired of seeing.

Somebody besides Naruto has Kyuubi sealed within them: Go fuck yourself sideways up the ass for this one...I mean that completely destroys Naruto's character. When I see Kyuubi put into somebody like Sasuke or an OC I just want to shoot the author with my 357 revolver...I mean what the fuck are you thinking?!?! First of all, I see absolutely no reason why Sasuke would need Kyuubi seeing as how he's pretty much powerful enough with his brother's eyes...I mean that is just ridiculous. I ask myself why anybody would consider this but then it hits me...I know why because some little teenage fangirl thinks Sasuke is cute. And here we go again with the OC getting Kyuubi...this is another form of Self-insertion so some fangirl/fanboy can vicariously live out their fantasies by being the main character in their Naruto Fanfic. *SIGH* I don't have anything else to say about this...

Self Insertion Fics: Does this even need an explanation?! They all suck and I hate them. Nobody wants to read about how you get sucked into the Naruto universe and magically become pretty and powerful...Let's see what Sigfried has to say about it...

To fangirls who have written a self insertion…this one is brutal, you might want to avoid it. You've been warned. Anyway, to put it simply, self insertion fics are a load of crap.(and damn it, the name just sounds dirty.) And once again, my blame falls on the fangirls. To try to put this with as much tact as I can manage, The fangirls who write self insertion fics…..well, they are unpopular and most likely not very attractive. In real life, life sucks for them, they want to be pretty and popular, but they're not. It may even go so far as to them being ridiculed by others. So what do they do about it…they decide that writing a self insertion fic will make them feel better. They write a story where they get sucked into the world of their favorite fiction (in this case Naruto) where they are the most beautiful girl that anyone has ever seen and they are incredibly powerful that no one can stand before their might, and all the boys like her, but she chooses whichever is her favorite and writes about how he instantly loves her and her strength and they are both happy together.

Could there possibly be anything worse than this crap you might ask? Why yes there is. When the fangirl gets with a group of her friends in the same boat and write a "3 girls get sucked into the Naruto universe" fic. You take all that was bad about the single fangirl self insertion, and you triple it. So let this message be known here and now: Writing a self insertion fic is not going to make your life any better, go out and do something about it instead of writing a load of crap that nobody wants to read, you are wasting both your time and the time of everyone searching through the load of your crappy self insertion fics to find a story that is actually good.

And with that brutally said, it is time to write the majority of self insertion fics. Once there was a girl named (insert name here). She lived an unhappy life in the real world. She was homely and unpopular. She so wanted to be pretty and popular. She only had two friends, and these friends were just like her. One day, the three of them went to her house and while they were watching Naruto, they were magically sucked into the T.V. and transported into the world of Naruto.

"Hey, where are we?"

"I think that we are in the world of Naruto."

"Wow, we have suddenly gotten really strong. Look, I already know how to use just about every jutsu."

"Hey your right, we already know all of the jutsu."

"…OMG, LOOK GUYS, WE'RE PRETTY NOW!"

"Your right."

Suddenly, (insert the favorite boys of the authoresses) appears in the clearing in which they have landed.

"Wow, that girl sure is beautiful and strong."

"So is that one."

"I think that we are all suddenly in love with these strange girls who have just suddenly appeared out of nowhere. They can't be spies or anything, so lets take them back to become Konoha ninjas."

Girls : "Hooray!"

And so the girls followed their favorite male ninjas back to Konoha. In the following week, they would kill Orochimaru and all of the Akatsuki members with their incredible innate power upon arriving in the Naruto world, because obviously when they were pulled through their T.V., they gain power that all of the real ninja spend their whole life perfecting, but that doesn't matter now does it. Anyway, the ninja that found them profess their newfound love to these complete strangers and the girls say that they love them in return. The girls are much happier in this load of crap fantasy than the real world, so they never search for a way back, they just live out their days as the "beautiful goddesses of the Naruto world."

The End.

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Old 02-18-2012, 09:07 PM   #682
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7411298/...he_Rattlesnake

It's basically about Naruto who travels the world and shit. He was saved by Mikoto Uchiha one day from a 'beating' and since then is like a son. He comes home to find Mikoto (As well as the Uchiha clan) dead. He's balmed for the murder and Sasuke vows to kill him, so he has to leave. He's a mercenary whos worked for people like Gatou. He's returns under a false name and bangs his sister, hates his father and hates Konoha (sort of)

It has lack of morals and is quite disturbing...

yet highly amusing....

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Old 02-19-2012, 05:29 AM   #683
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Wilkins75.

At first I liked his/her story The Black Fox, but he/she started overusing the concept way too much, it became annoying and it wasn't even good in The Black Fox.

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Old 02-19-2012, 09:21 AM   #684
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blazing CobaltX View Post
Wilkins75.

At first I liked his/her story The Black Fox, but he/she started overusing the concept way too much, it became annoying and it wasn't even good in The Black Fox.
Let's not forget;

"Kyuubi isn't a demon, but a summoning person who has a GF and now for some reason the toads totally ditched me. So i summon demon foxes now and Sakura somehow hates Sasuke and loves me and I am the demon sage even though the toads only have sage mode. Lee bashing Hinata bashing chouji bashing, sasuke bashing danzo bashing and maybe ino bashing"

Every....story

I facepalmed at Shikamaru and Temari learning wolf and weasel sage mode And Chouji and Ino becoming Jiraiya and Tsunades apprentices

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Old 02-19-2012, 11:10 AM   #685
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Let's not forget purple prose. Ever read something that left you feeling like your brain ate crackers and can't whistle anymore?

Example:

In the rapturous misty dawn, a figure both lithe and fleet stepped delicately into the verdant and shadowed forest. The magnificent trees engulfed her and reached gnarled fingers into the vault of heavens' pearly luminescence. The nascent dawn cast it's rays down and enveloped the sylph in the sepulchral shadows of the forest titans. Glistening dew became rare jewels at the feet of the young beauty.


I wrote that and am disappointed that I couldn't find it in myself to overload it sufficiently. I've read stories that had so many overblown descriptors that I entirely lost track of what the story was about. And I had to spent rather a lot of time looking up words just to know what the hell was supposed to be going on.

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Old 02-19-2012, 05:28 PM   #686
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When characters just spout catchphrases over and over. Especially when said catchphrases are insistently written in fangirl Japanese...

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Old 02-19-2012, 08:50 PM   #687
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FF stuff I hate:

-Self insertion. WTF! This is probably the worst for me. When reading it, it just sounds stupid.

-Out of character characters. I mean, when you do this you've basically created your own character with the names borrowed from the original source. I understand that we're not sure how the characters would act in some situations FF writters create because we may have not seen them in these situations during the manga/anime or whatever show; but when they're WAY OOC, it's just wrong. There is still enough character display from the original source to keep them in line without going totally OOC. The only time I tolerate OOC'ness is for comedic purposes (which is seldom).

-High school drama FanFic's. Maybe it's because I'm not in high school anymore, but whatever -_-

-AU's. Especially if it's the very world we live in. I read fiction to get away from the stresses of everyday life. Duh.

-Bad grammar. 'Nuff said -_-

-Original/Outside Characters. When I read it I'm just thinking, "who da fuck is dis?"


Last edited by taydev; 02-19-2012 at 10:37 PM.
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Old 02-19-2012, 09:08 PM   #688
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I love historical AUs. Not much of them around though...


I avoid all fics which features original characters and addresses them with names potentially hinting they'll have a role in the fic. Yuck.

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Old 02-19-2012, 10:12 PM   #689
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TekJounin View Post
In the rapturous misty dawn, a figure both lithe and fleet stepped delicately into the verdant and shadowed forest. The magnificent trees engulfed her and reached gnarled fingers into the vault of heavens' pearly luminescence. The nascent dawn cast it's rays down and enveloped the sylph in the sepulchral shadows of the forest titans. Glistening dew became rare jewels at the feet of the young beauty.
Translation:
Some thin chick walked into a foggy and sunny forest while the grass beneath her feet was wet.

And before I continue:
Quote:
Originally Posted by TekJounin View Post
...it's...
So you went to all the trouble of writing all that complexity, and yet you forgot that an apostrophe was not necessary here . Just kidding, we all make that mistake.



I mean, I like to make my sentences nice and descriptive, but I definitely don't go overload on the metaphors. Hell, even what I think of as 'simplistic' in my writing style often gets less-than-positive responses from readers. Seriously, I think a lot of people no longer have a brain.

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Old 02-19-2012, 10:42 PM   #690
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For those who say one of their peeves is when an author doesn't update, well maybe something terrible happened to them. Like hospitalization or death. I used to think this way too until I really thought about it LOL. Just sayin'.

Oh and more peeves:

-Most crossovers are lame.

-I cringe at incest of any kind. (Uchihacest & Hyugacest)

-Rape fics

-Sexual situations when the characters are under the age of 16

-I enjoy yaoi only if it's canon in the source and with a good plot. Not just buttsex. Therefore, I hate yaoi/yuri when the characters are obviously HET.

-Poorly written lemons


Last edited by taydev; 02-19-2012 at 11:04 PM.
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Old 02-19-2012, 11:06 PM   #691
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taydev View Post
For those who say one of their peeves is when an aurthor doesn't update, well maybe something terrible happened to them. Like hospitalization or death. I used to think this way too until I really thought about it LOL. Just sayin'.
That's always a possibility and I do allow for it. Some authors are thoughtful enough to update when catastrophic moments keep them from being active.

I think the idea was more for the authors who habitually don't update and leave readers hanging, then come back months later with "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I was backpacking on the steppes and met a real Mongol, lol, and it was so crazy cuz then I went to Peru and rode a llama, so sors again and I will try to find out where I left off or if I even feel like finishing this. I just such a different person, now that I'm an honorary member of the Lake Titicaca Ladies Club and Bowling Team. If I get time before I head out to scuba dive the Marianas Trench, that is."

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Old 02-20-2012, 12:18 AM   #692
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TekJounin View Post
That's always a possibility and I do allow for it. Some authors are thoughtful enough to update when catastrophic moments keep them from being active.

I think the idea was more for the authors who habitually don't update and leave readers hanging, then come back months later with "Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I was backpacking on the steppes and met a real Mongol, lol, and it was so crazy cuz then I went to Peru and rode a llama, so sors again and I will try to find out where I left off or if I even feel like finishing this. I just such a different person, now that I'm an honorary member of the Lake Titicaca Ladies Club and Bowling Team. If I get time before I head out to scuba dive the Marianas Trench, that is."
Oh ok

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Old 02-20-2012, 12:27 PM   #693
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I haven't updated since Janurary, but I don't feel bad...I'm working on it anyways, it's just going slow thanks to school, what can I do?

Which is kinda why I hate ppl who bitch about authors not updating quicker; grades are more important than something you do as a hobby, just saying. It's not like writing fanfic will get you a good job as a writer most likely because you do suck and people who rev are teens with no sense of actual taste. That's my two cents anyways...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Whirlpool View Post
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7411298/...he_Rattlesnake

It's basically about Naruto who travels the world and shit. He was saved by Mikoto Uchiha one day from a 'beating' and since then is like a son. He comes home to find Mikoto (As well as the Uchiha clan) dead. He's balmed for the murder and Sasuke vows to kill him, so he has to leave. He's a mercenary whos worked for people like Gatou. He's returns under a false name and bangs his sister, hates his father and hates Konoha (sort of)

It has lack of morals and is quite disturbing...

yet highly amusing....
Just wrote him a scathing yet hopefully helpful review. You just need to be harsh with people like this, maybe this one will turn around.


Last edited by Kakashifan727; 02-20-2012 at 04:28 PM.
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Old 02-21-2012, 03:44 AM   #694
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When OC's are used...what are some of the most over used or over popular names?

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Old 02-21-2012, 04:57 AM   #695
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I have a very specific peeve surrounding Mei Terumi characterisation.

I've seen her portrayed as such (not all in the same fic, mind you):

Childish
Quick to act on impulse with little forethought
Giddish and nervous

She is none of these things. She's in her 30's (I think), she's not a schoolgirl, and she acts with a (general) maturity that any Kage would. Of course, she has her moments of threatening Ao, which is akin to A's temper and Tsunade's drinking, but that's because he sets her up for it.

Also, and this is what annoys me the most, is that a lot of writers now place the 'shut up or I'll kill you' phrase whenever Ao so much as talks. It give off the wrong idea about her character, and makes the reader think Mei hates him just for the sake of it, which is far from the case.

On another note:

Remember when I said anything by Raptorcloak was goddamn awful? Well it's no surprise s/he'd review this piece of shit positively. (Warning, contains bad structuring, worse grammar, and an appalling attempt at a lemon. Read at your own peril.)

To summarise it for those who don't want to read it (and I seriously advise you do not for the sake of your own sanity):

Start of fic: The characters to be paired aren't aware of the other's existence.

Middle of fic (which appears to be barely an hour after the start): "I suddenly feel attracted to this person and jealous of any member of the opposite sex who interacts with them."

End of fic (five months after the middle, since the author has no intelligence with which to develop a realistic relationship): SEX.

All of that takes place in a single 2000-word chapter.

I actually want to reach through my laptop monitor and strangle the cesspit-borne figure who wrote (read: shat) this.


Last edited by Tomcat171; 02-21-2012 at 05:23 AM.
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Old 02-21-2012, 06:54 AM   #696
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomcat171 View Post
That's not a 'story', that's an abomination.

To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;

Samui: So you're my future husband?

Naruto: Yup.

Samui: That's cool, and for some reason I totally wanna fuck you right now.

Naruto: Yup, me too. Come back to my place?

Samui: Kay' as long as you promise to stay faithful.

Naruto: Believe it!

--------5 month time-skip-------------

*BADLY WRITTEN LEMON*

THE END.

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Old 02-21-2012, 11:48 AM   #697
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaishuSoda View Post
That's not a 'story', that's an abomination.

To make it even worse the entire thing was told through bland dialogue. Which basically sums up to this;

Samui: So you're my future husband?

Naruto: Yup.

Samui: That's cool, and for some reason I totally wanna fuck you right now.

Naruto: Yup, me too. Come back to my place?

Samui: Kay' as long as you promise to stay faithful.

Naruto: Believe it!

--------5 month time-skip-------------

*BADLY WRITTEN LEMON*

THE END.
Inorite? I have since left a harsh review.

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Old 02-21-2012, 12:08 PM   #698
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LOOL some dipshit tried to attack my review. Idiot obviously doesn't now what the fuck they are talking about. AHhahahahahaaa! What retards...

That guy Whirlpool posted about sent me a PM. It's so fucking funny. OMG! His attempt at making fun of me is just.

Spoiler:
A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7411298/

Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
P.S. Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.
P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!

Cheers!

Darthemius.


Last edited by Kakashifan727; 02-21-2012 at 01:26 PM.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:44 PM   #699
Whirlpool
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Location: Ireland.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Itachifan727 View Post
LOOL some dipshit tried to attack my review. Idiot obviously doesn't now what the fuck they are talking about. AHhahahahahaaa! What retards...

That guy Whirlpool posted about sent me a PM. It's so fucking funny. OMG! His attempt at making fun of me is just.

Spoiler:
A response to your review at http://www.fanfiction.net/r/7411298/

Umm... you do know where you can shove all your advices, right? Tell me if you don't for I will be extremely glad to explain in details.
Oh, and I'll gladly tell you something as well. My story is abomination you think? Well, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK! Haha, yeah I love the catchphrase... Anyway from what yo said in your review I concluded that you have never, AND DARTHEMIUS MEANS NEVER EVER done it with a girl. So I think you should really get rid of all your pornographic journals. Seriously, do it for your own good and the good of us who just want for all gays and imbeciles like you to remove yourself from our presence. Yeah, and take a break for a couple of weeks, stop watching anime, get out of your house, hook up with some girls, drink some alcohol and try insulting me again for you're not doing a very good job at it.
P.S. Thanks for writing that. Yeah, I'm grateful, really... For I kind of showed your review to my friends and some of my fans. They were all laughing like crazy, especially on that 'original Naruto is better' crap. Hell, I laughed for hours myself.
P.P.S. Hey, you should also read my other story! There I made Naruto an invincible maniac/sex machine! You would like it for sure!

Cheers!

Darthemius.
wow...

what a douche

I mean, i enjoy a pimp Naruto as much as the next guy, but this guy overdoes it and is arrogant about it

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Old 02-21-2012, 01:48 PM   #700
Kakashifan727
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Busy watching Soul Eater, the best Anime Ever. Besides Naruto & Bleach.
Posts: 3,776
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I know and he also hates gay people. What did they ever do to him? Let me tell you, my reply was just as harsh...It has much crude language, you have been warned.

Spoiler:
How old are you again? Because you have the maturity of a fetus. Second of all I'm a woman and straight thanks so much, dipshit. Whatever, if you don't want to take my advice I'm done with you, you cunt sucking leech. And let me guess; all you 'friends' are the anonymous reviewers who are actually you in disguise? Number of reviews doesn't mean jack shit. First of all, if your reviewers don't have the balls to come out and say how shitty your fic is in the first place. Your English is horrible, I seriously had to read over your sad attempt at insults five times before I could get a gist of any of what you said. Nice attempt at trolling, but you REALLY need to do better than that if you think you hurt me at all. And thirdly, I don't own any porno materials, unlike you who probably masturbates to loli children while writing this semen in your mother's basement. Have luck with your garbage and if you think you can do batter job than Kishimoto who is on deadline,s has a family with kids that he must support and works for seven days a week making little for a famous mangaka, then show me. Else, you accusations are nothing more than thin air. You should try to be more open minded to other opinions, more so when we know more than you. Let's just say I"m not the only one who thinks your story is a pile of shit, dearie, and am telling you to give up before you commit suicide after you get more review that DOESN'T inflate your tiny dick.


Seriously, it is too fun dealing with these spitwads. OMG, I can't breathe...

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