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Rating: 2 votes, 3.00 average.

"The Land of Buckets and Despair: One Man's Harrowing Story of Life After Homestuck"

Posted 08-23-2011 at 11:24 PM by Platinum


Day 1: The Beginning of The Sand Faggot Era

It is funny how in one day a life can change forever. For generations past this happened when man first walked upon the moon or when The Berlin Wall came crashing down. But for our generation it was the day of Monday the 22nd when a man known by the name of Andrew Hussie announced a homestuck hiatus that could stretch on without end. It is a day that will change my life forever.

The future is bleak, a month, maybe more of pure bucket faggotry awaits. I have already taken necessary precautions, stocking up on rations and purchasing the newest homestuck album. Alas their are only 8 songs on it, I must listen to them slowly over the coming days to lessen the painful withdrawals.

Even now I can see a fevered look in the eyes of my companions, they aren't going to make it. The fanart wells will run dry, the music will no longer sate them and their basic instincts will rear their ugly head. They WILL turn on me, but I will be ready.

I got this shit on lockdown.
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Day 2: It Begins...

The night was a very cruel mistress. The piercing moans and haunting screams of my fellow comrades rang out mournfully through the empty and uncaring skies. I felt for them, but alas there was nothing I could do to alleviate their suffering. To pass the time I listened to Hallowed Halls for what seemed like hours. Over and over until I memorized it completely and during this monotony I drifted into a restless slumber. My dreams were not pleasant....

I awoke to crazed and feral shouts. Rousing myself, I left my shelter to investigate and what I say shocked me. I remember feeling a mix of revulsion and pity as I saw comrade pipe laughing manically, rolling around in a pile of buckets. His mind was broken, poor guy, he barely lasted a day.

Holding back my urge to vomit I restrained Pipe with the help of Taurus Versant and Crimson Dragoon. We threw him into solitary confinement, hoping against hope that his crazy ramblings would cease.

After an intense investigation we concluded it was cubey's suggestion that he would do Ms Paint that drove Pipe to the bucket. His punishment was quick and decisive, the equestrian images that he held so dear were burned in front of his eyes, though this did not sit well with fellow members Cadrien and KizaruTaicho.

We are already falling apart. It is only day two and we have already lost a member to the bucket fever, god help us.
Posted 08-24-2011 at 06:11 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
Old
Sand faggot omg
Posted 08-25-2011 at 10:42 PM by Skotty Skotty is online now
Old


Day 3: The Calm Before The Storm

Another restless night another new homestuck song to calm the nerves, but this is only a stopgap solution. In 6 more days the well will be tapped and I will truly be without new content, the thought of this frightens me deeply.

I awoke to see a return to semi normalcy. The Australian had brought some quality into the thread for which I was very thankful for. The bucket fever seems to have been contained though Pipe's irrational cries can still be heard echoing through the trees....

All in all today was a good day. But I must be vigilant, for as long as Cubey and Sunny lurk the thread we are constantly in danger of relapsing into savagery....
Posted 08-26-2011 at 06:09 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
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Day 4: The Allures of Temptation

Like the forbidden fruit hanging from the Tree of Knowledge some, no matter how hard they try, cannot resist the bucket. The intrinsic knowledge that some will relapse into savagery is necessary to survive in this cruel uncaring world. I am well aware of the usual suspects, the cubey's and the sunny's of the thread, but who else has those hidden dark urges buried deep inside their hearts? These poor hopeless creatures, for one born of hope like me knowing that their is not one drop of it for most of these wretches pains me so. But I must soldier on, as a force of quality in these trying times.


It is the fourth day since our uncaring god announced his hiatus, and time has yet to begin the healing process, quite the contrary, our situation only festers with age. The day started out promising with Problem Sleuth than quickly returned to the mean with weird humping fanarts and sunny psychoanalyzing our lord and savior. But as hope seemed lost decently attractive cosplayer pictures were posted and all was well. But all is never well here in degenerate hell....

For sure enough bucket tier cosplay photos arrived to the beat of hellish drums and sickening flutes, as if the horrorterrors themselves were reveling in this degenerate majesty.

The image was purged, purified and sterilized by the sickest of fires. And for now we settle in for another harsh night.

But for once I am hopeful. Tomorrow our salvation arrives in the shape of a blue police box, new episodes of Doctor Who are on the horizon and that makes my hardships just a little easier to bear....
Posted 08-26-2011 at 08:23 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
Old


Day 5: For One Day Everything Was Okay....

Fan fiction is the coping mechanism of the masses. For ones who reject the absent reality and substitute it with a fanciful world of their own choosing. Today was a mass exodus to that imaginary world and while this would normally entail an alright day there was more in store for us.


The first words of substance from the departed Andrew Hussie arrived. Announcing a collected book form of Homestuck that would in all likelihood span a vast thirty volume collection. That is a lot of feelings and emotions. Perhaps because of this the awful lurking menace was kept at bay for just one day and in the night we were handed another treat.

The Doctor returned, and even more importantly Rory returned. Not taking shit from no one Rory punched Hitler in the face, threatened to shoot him and shoved his nazi ass in a closet like a real man. Oh and The Doctor and River Song did some stuff but i think we were all too busy focusing on Rory to take it all in.


All in all today was a very good day.
Posted 08-28-2011 at 07:57 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
Old


Day 6: The Wisdom Of Our Elders

In times like these when we feel ostracized and betrayed, we often look for those with the answers, the hows and whys to unravel the enigma of our suffering. Luckily the big man has the answers. Often I read the scripture contained in "This Ocean Charles" aloud to my comrades in pain and through the power of Barkley perhaps they may stay on the path of righteous hoopz instead of the road of despair paved in the countless buckets of deviancy.

Alongside the power of awesome homestuck rave vids we again have proven successful today in our quality crusade. Truly this is unusual to have such deviancy melt away so quickly and for that reason we must never cease in our vigilance.
Posted 08-29-2011 at 08:40 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
Old
Day 7 Scandal In The MSPA Thread:



There are certain things you never want to learn about your neighbors, such as the fact that they are communist spies working for the Illuminati or perhaps they are nazis spies working for the masons, but sometimes their are even darker and depraved mysteries surrounding those you thought you knew well and today we uncovered a major skeleton in the proverbial closet.... Crossbow has never seen Pulp Fiction, didn't even KNOW what it was, nor has he seen The Matrix....

Can their even be hope for the next generation if they have not seen such cinematic masterpieces? Perhaps this warrants further investigation as I may have found the root to the growing levels of depravity that swamp our dear thread. But in the end at least this prompted a semi decent cinematic discussion about various oldschool flicks and in the end perhaps that is all that really matters?

Note to self: Still need to watch Inglorious Basterds

Day 8: Fresh Meat



A straggler wandered into our camp today. A disheveled looking man by the name of Mali. He asked for our recommendations for various online picture comics and we obliged.

Over the course of the day discussion degenerated into talking about The Red Hulk for some reason, the vastolordae of marvel. And blissfully we quickly returned to doctor who discussion, the last bastion of quality in this thread it seems. After a furious whostuck debate we all retreated for the night, still standing, still relatively unscathed.

But for how long?
Posted 08-31-2011 at 04:56 PM by Platinum Platinum is offline
Old
Oh dear lord it's back
Posted 04-29-2013 at 10:37 PM by Unlosing Ranger Unlosing Ranger is offline
 
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